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May 06, 2005
Hard Times, Hard Curves, and Hard Slabs
ATLANTA, GA -- May 6
The Mooresville-Atlanta leg of the trip had proven by far my most convoluted when layed out in the drawing board of google maps and cue sheets. On the physical manifestation, however, it became a game of concession after concession until I found myself abandoning the ambitious and best-laid plans and flying down the exact sort of wide highways I took this trip to avoid. It was not, however, without scenery and adventures of the narrower kind.
Although I was much better behaved with my bedtime the night before (relatively speaking, I suppose), I was determined I would do today's trip on a genuine 8 hours of sleep. Finding yesterday's picnic breakfast strategy to be a winner, I hardboiled an egg at Darren and Brenda's to pack in the tank bag along with an overly ripe banana and the remainder of my farmer's market grapes from Roanoke.
Then it was time to say the all-too-quick goodbyes as Brenda whisked the kids off to their barrage of daily activities and Darren prepared to take a long jog I wish I could have stayed to join him on. Although, with his own unique way of saying goodbye, maybe he wanted to follow me on the hobby horse for a few dozen miles to get a good plyometric workout...
I exited the exclusive community of The Point for the gridlock of NC 150 around 9 am. My first significant city en route was the quaint boro of Lincolnton, whose central square features the stately Lincoln County courthouse. A perfect rendezvous for my breakfast picnic, which I took on the lawn of the courthouse park. I checked my voicemail and got a nice call from Bob informing me he was safely almost back to Pittsburgh but got a traffic ticket for having a bald back tire. How the hell do you get a moving violation for that, I wondered. I'd soon find out.
As a followup to the handy beer-opening trick I provided a few days ago, here's another great (if a bit too symbolically close to home) use for a helmet when you're on the go:
While eating, the gusts of wind that had been looming around all morning suddenly went on the offensive and blew my North Carolina map a good two blocks with me frantically chasing it while still keeping my eye on the tank bag, backpack, and helmet I had left on the lawn. When I finally caught up with it, I stood face to face with my first example of Southern gentile charm. Dan, the broker at a local insurance agency, proceeded to engage in friendly chit-chat about everything under the sun for the next 10 minutes as I collected my belongings and loaded Diana up for the push towards Asheville.
One of the better aspects of the conversation with Dan was confirmation that some of the by-roads I had charted between Morganton and Lincolnton were viable for motorcycling as alternatives to staying on NC 27 and NC 18. These gave me 17 or so miles of empty winding road through pretty farmland, with an interesting crossing known as Cat's Square. It quite literally has the claim to this designation, which necessitated a roadside stop to run back across the intersection to capture the emblem:
The peace of these back roads was shattered when, immediately upon merging back onto NC 18 I was met with a construction worker holding up a portable Stop octagon. And holding it up. And holding it up. And holding me up. And soon, holding me and a queue of 10 semis behind me up. Of course, the temptation was growing to take off the gloves, unzip the digital camera pouch at my waist, and document this outrage for posterity. Not only would it give me a token of rememberance as I sat waiting for Diana's engine to smoke, but no doubt the minute I went through the effort the stop sign would be rotated to its Slow flipside and I'd be stuck holding up a line of angry trucks while I fumbled to zip everything back in.
Safety came first, however, so I abstained from doing anything brash and sat there the entire 10 minutes until a truck came back with a yellow dome light and an orange "PILOT CAR -- FOLLOW ME" sign on its rear gate. Stop became Slow, and I was soon in the lead of an 18 wheeler caravan across the left lane of a 2 mile stretch of highway that was being refurbished. The caustic smell of the fresh tar was the least of my problems when the truck soon crossed back into the pristine newly laid right lane -- across a 3 inch grade curb. I was in no position to make that jump on a parallel with Diana, and there was little room to try and turn in place to negotiate it head-on. Two of the trucks impatiently jumped and left me stranded in the left lane before the third took mercy and waited for me to drop into 1st and power walk it into the right lane and soldier on.
Coming down from that impromptu time-wasting adventure and passing through Morganton and grabbing the nice US 70 that parallels I-40, I was soon faced with the first compromise of the planned trip. Should I just take 70 right into Asheville, or take the NC 80 northeast which would climb back up to the Blue Ridge Parkway that I could then take towards Asheville where there were exits into the city? Being still in the mindset that I was making good time and would be damned if the trip becomes a race, I pulled off onto NC 80 and began my return to the Mountains.
I had a bad feeling about this decision as I saw the beautiful Smoky Mountains ahead highlighted by Mount Mitchell, North Carolina's highest peak. But my petty thoughts were mostly relegated to whether or not I had enough gas. Soon that became a secondary concern as I began to wind my way into the twistiest roads yet of the entire trip.
All of the attention in Carolina motorcycle lore seems to be focused on the Deal's Gap section of US 129 into Tennessee, a stretch of curvy highway that lures bikers and sports car nuts from all over the country. But I can't imagine how much more severe it could possibly be than the 8 miles of NC 80 I climed towards the Parkway. All of my complaints about being taken down to second gear descending the Blue Ridge on NC 18 the day before were trumped by some forays into first just trying to stay upright on some of the upward spirals. Worse still, I had a tail on me that was entirely too patient as I did some 15 mph angling.
The final indignity came when I rounded what proved to be the harshest curve and saw a truck coming downhill right at me right before my first double-yellow liner of the trip. I was almost ready to put my foot out to cheese out the turn before he passed with enough time to cross 2 feet over the line and back to the right side of the road without losing my momentum. I must come back to this road with a nice torque-happy BMW and mounted auto-camera to better enjoy the experience. Once again, there was simply no safe place to pull off and photograph the craziness of this road.
Three turns later and the brown Blue Ridge Parkway sign loomed up not a moment too soon. I was so spent and haggard as I rounded the entry ramp onto the parkway haphazardly that I was fully into the left turn to head southbound before I even noticed the gigantic ROAD CLOSED barricade 6 feet in front of me in plain view even from the bottom of the ramp.
Road Closed?! You gotta be shitting me. The old man kindly manning the barricade was zero help other than to tell me they haven't resolved the mudslides in Western NC from rains earlier in the week, and that my only options at this point were to go back down the deathtrap of NC 80 or continue further on 80 around Mount Mitchell State Park to US 19, which would take me back South to Asheville after 50 miles. There was no way in blue (Ridge?) hell I was going back down the rollercoaster of 80, so it would have to be 80 north to US 19.
Fortunately, there was a gas station 8 miles further up the road, and the going was nowhere near as rough as the former stretch of 80 I survived. Unfortunately, cars passing me the other way were flickering their headlights. Speed Trap? Natch; I was hardly pushing 50 on most of this road. Then I saw the mass of State Troopers ahead blocking both lanes of traffic with a makeshift mandatory screening.
Since there was no car ahead of me to harrass, I didn't have time to turn off my iPod before the cop began asking for my license amidst some more "You're all the way down from New York on that thing" pleasantries. Even as he saw me unzip the jacket and pause the Pod, he was mostly concerned with my squirrely back tire that he proclaimed "Bald as all git-out". He said he would not write a ticket even though he should, but I need to get it replaced ASAP. Somewhere across 4 state lines, Bob is laughing his ass off.
Meanwhile, I was still not even into Asheville yet as the clock creeped towards 2 pm. On the plus side, the stretch of US 19 I was on merged with US 23 and will soon be re-signed as I-26 because it is a total super slab expressway. On the minus side, I hate these highways. I did my best to keep a low profile in the right lane as the mileage towards Asheville melted off and the traffic condensed, but the exits into downtown were at random points and I missed 2 of them before taking the final opportunity which dumped me on Haywood Rd a good 2 miles (and 3 random right-turns down entirely different roads with the same name) before getting to the artsy and restaurant-laden West Asheville district.
My goal had been to procure Western Carolina barbecue on the way down, and Eastern Carolina 'cue on the way back up the coast of NC. But with Darren flaking on calling his business associates in Asheville for recommendations and me being already 2 hours behind schedule, I settled on a grand compromise: A Colombian cafe called La Empanada with an empty stretch of street parking right out front, immaculate bathrooms for such a seeming hole in the wall, a window on which I could keep an eye on Diana, and sparse late afternoon patronage.
La Empanada, despite needing to make concessions to unadventurous clientele with an entire right side of the menu board dedicated to hamburger and hot dog fare, had a great list of tamales, empanadas, corn taquitos, and some other South American specialties. They were fresh out of tamales, so I settled on a combo of their best empanada fillings and a slab melted queso blanco between two fresh corn tortillas griddled to perfection. The homemade salsa was pure cilantro, but they provided me with a nice bottled Colombian red alternative. Better still, their drinks cooler featured an all-natural Tamarind juice!
The Colombian matron of the little cafe was quite the character, and soon was chatting with me about my trip as her husband slaved away in the kitchen. The meal soon had me believing myself when I muttered, "Eastern Carolina Q is much better anyway." I couldn't leave without a parting photo from the lovely purveyors of my little feast:
Alas, with only 4-5 hours of daylight left to get all the way to Atlanta, I knew I had to abandon my route entirely and begin slabbing it the rest of the way. No finishing of the Blue Ridge Parkway. No cornering into the edge of Tennessee. No descending the last of the mountains via GA 60 past the Two Wheels Only resort and the beginning of the Appalachain Trail.
My final moment of glory before a long desparation run of 70 mph gunning of superhighways came as I braved the harsh Asheville expressways through unyielding drivers into the final solo stretch of US 19 into Cherokee Reservation before merging with fellow US highways 23, 74, and 441. As luck would have it, my long wait in line to refuel at a gas station busy enough to likely have been the only option for miles before the vast Smoky Mountains National Park was well timed.
When I emerged back onto the 19, I passed a gigantic pack of Harley hogs about to make a right turn onto the same road. After ditching the few cars separating us, I ended up playing the leadoff position of a 20-bike rally for the entire climb and descent of 19 through twisties into the main drag of the Reservation with its casinos, theme parks, and endless mock general stores peddling every artifact ever associated with Native American culture. Too bad their engines were so loud we never got the chance to talk. They kept going on the 19/74 stretch towards Tennessee when I ejected onto the super slab of US 441 to get the shortest route to Atlanta.
What followed is hardly worth writing about at length. It took a good 3 hours of open throttle and crosswinds through scenery that hardly changed much even when I crossed the Georgia State Line. Soon I was heading down the venerable GA 400 expressway towards the heart of Atlanta, braving the horrible condition of the pavement with lane seams and idiot drivers making their pilgrimages from the deep suburbs into the Buckhead dining scene. By the time I ended my run of slabs for the day into Roswell, GA, I thought my adventures for the day were done as I made for my friend Jarboe's house 6 miles away.
Instead, I had a cutoff, a cutover, and 3-light backlogs of traffic at the I-285 interchange to brave before I could get off the congested Roswell Rd into the cozy Sandy Springs area of Northwest Atlanta. The cutoff came courtesy of an ignorant driver mowing across lanes in a haphazed left turn and failing to see me even for the honking and frantic downshifting until Diana's front wheel was barely a foot from her car. Not 90 seconds later, my 45 mph revving down Roswell Rd became laced with that straining sound that told me prime fuel was almost empty. I merged across 3 lanes and found a driveway into a gated apartment complex with just enough room to pull off, cut to reserve, restart, and rejoin traffic with minimal drama.
One mile and one gas station later, I was finally making the final 3 turns before spilling into Jarboe's driveway at exactly 8 pm capping 11 hours and 360 miles of just about every extreme of motorcycling one can have on public pavement. Nic and Jarboe immediately procured me an ice cold glass of beer that I downed in pure ignorant bliss of the fact it was plain ol' Budweiser. It tasted pretty good after all that travelling, I must say.
That pending 450 mile stretch of flat, wide, open highway between Atlanta and Tampa is looking less intimidating with every coming day. As long as I get a good morning start and get through Atlanta alive, I should be golden. This entry has gone on long enough, so I will fold my ensuing adventures of restaurant and gig hopping with Jarboe and Nic into the Saturday log which no doubt will have its own whacky (and decidedly non-motorcycling) tales to tell. I need a day off from this biking thing to prepare for the Tampa iron-butt mission Sunday. In the meantime, what more can you say about the kind of friends who provide a bed like this for the evening to rest my weary head?
I love 'em. I get the mattress, Diana gets a nice patch of quiet grass next to the driveway to recuperate.
Here's today's gallery:
And the playlist, much of which I barely heard over the 6000 rpm revving of Diana's engine to make 70 mph:
| Title | Artist | CD |
|---|---|---|
| Fjell - Ljom | NORWAY Hardingfeletrioen | The Secret Museum Of Mankind Vol. 4: Ethnic Music Classics: 1925-1948 |
| Fairport Convention - Chelsea Morning | Fairport Convention | Meet on the Ledge - The Classi |
| Purelove | Byzar | Incursions In Illbient |
| Back Door Blues | Casey Bill Weldon | Broke, Black & Blue: Volume Three - Good Whiskey Blues |
| Fat Mama Blues | Jabo Williams | Broke, Black & Blue: Volume Three - Good Whiskey Blues |
| AndMoreAgain | Love | Forever Changes |
| I Feel Good | James Brown | Make It Funky - The Big Payback: 1971-1975 (Disc 2) |
| 18 - 39 | Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsbourg | Je t'aime moi non plus |
| Sweet Oddysee Of A Cancer Cell T' Th' Center Of Yer Heart | Mercury Rev | Yerself Is Steam |
| Stigdu Mig | Björk | Quiet Fireworks (Rarities 1993 - 1997) |
| Far Out | Sonz of a Loop Da Loop Era | Euphoria: Old Skool Disc 2 |
| Monica | The Kinks | The Village Green Preservation Society |
| Because Of | Leonard Cohen | Dear Heather |
| The Earth Is Soft And White | Medicine | The Buried Life |
| Balloon | Catherine Wheel | Ferment |
| Cruel And Thin | Sun City Girls | 330,003 Crossdressers From Beyond The Rig Veda (1) |
| Robots (live NYC 1998) | Kraftwerk | |
| When You Sleep | My Bloody Valentine | Loveless |
| Fascination | David Bowie | Young Americans [Bonus Tracks] |
| She's Not Dead | Suede | Suede |
| The Dark Of The Matinée | Franz Ferdinand | Franz Ferdinand |
| Fold4, Wrap5 | Autechre | LP5 |
| Into the Mystic | Van Morrison | Moondance |
| You Made Me Forget My Dreams | Belle & Sebastian | Lazy Line Painter Jane |
| Loose Joints | This Mortal Coil | Blood |
| The Waiter | The Black Heart Procession | 1 |
| Bubblegum | Sonic Youth | Evol |
| Rock Me | Connie | Street Jams: Electric Funk - Part 4 |
| Have I The Right | Honeycombs | The Joe Meek Story - The PYE Years (Disc 1) |
| The Chinatown Dub | WE | Incursions In Illbient |
| Game of Pricks | Guided By Voices | Alien Lanes |
| The Incredible String Band - Womankind | The Incredible String Band | The Incredible String Band |
| It Ain't Easy | David Bowie | Bowie At The Beeb (Disc 1) |
| Kelly Watch The Stars | Air | Moon Safari |
| Permafrost | Magazine | Maybe It's Right To Be Nervous Now CD1 : Real Life/Secondhand Daylight Era |
| Upwards And Onwards | Orange Juice | You Can't Hide Your Love Forever |
| A Night In | Tindersticks | Tindersticks [II] |
| Kid A | Radiohead | Kid A |
| Algo Mais | Os Mutantes | Mutantes |
| The Lacemaker II | This Mortal Coil | Blood |
| roads (live outtake) | Portishead | |
| Optimistic | Radiohead | Kid A |
| I Want You | Spiritualized | The Complete Works, Vol. 1 |
| The Iron Stone | Incredible String Band | The Big Huge |
| Pimple Zoo | Guided By Voices | Alien Lanes |
| Over Her Head | Carla Bley / Paul Haines | Escalator Over The Hill (Disc 2) |
| Jungle Fever | Chakachas | Boogie Nights O.S.T. |
| Something (Italian Version) | move | Omnibus-60s Singles A's & Bs |
| Man | His Name Is Alive | Stars On E.S.P. |
| Fireball | The Flee Rekkers | The Joe Meek Story-The PYE Years |
| Lonely Days | Future Bible Heroes | Memories Of Love |
| Chere Chambre | Faust | Tapes |
| Holy Water | Death In June | Die Schuldigen und der Nebel:The Guilty Have No Past |
| T. Fazylova (Tajikstan) | Khar-Shabi | The Secret Museum Of Mankind Vol. 6: Central Asia: Ethnic Music Classics: 1925-1948 |
| Race For The Prize | The Flaming Lips | The Soft Bulletin |
| A Well Deserved Break | Morcheeba | Fragments Of Freedom |
| My Sound | Squarepusher | Music is Rotted One Note |
| Straight Street | The Fiery Furnaces | Blueberry Boat |
| To Hell With Poverty! | Gang of Four | Postpunk Chronicles: Going Underground |
| Put Your Fila's On | Schoolly-D | The Adventures Of Schoolly D. |
| Elm Crypt Oceanic | Electric Company | A Pert Cyclic Omen |
| Blood From The Air | COIL | Horse Rotorvator |
| Pure Realism | Matera | Same Here |
| The Observer | The Flaming Lips | The Soft Bulletin |
| Leather | OP8 | Slush |
| Burning Bridge | Kate Bush | The Back Sides |
| All Souls' Rising | Angels Of Light | Everything Is Good Here/Please Come Home |
| Track 01 | Family Fodder | Savoir Faire |
| Mercy On Broadway | Laura Nyro | New York Tendaberry |
| Linasixup | DoMe | Dome 12 |
| The Fairest Of The Seasons | Nico | Chelsea Girl |
| My Bruise | Jarboe And Lary Seven | Beautiful People Ltd |
| Trumpeter Landfrey... | Pearls Before Swine | Balaklava |
| Fifty Miles Of Elbow Room | Rev. F. W. McGee | Anthology Of American Folk Music (Disc 4) |
| Like Animals | Carla Bley / Paul Haines | Escalator Over The Hill |
| The White Noise Revisited | The Boo Radleys | Giant Steps |
| Sword Swings | Sound Effects | Kill Bill, Vol. 1 |
| Finale | Psychic TV | Dreams Less Sweet |
| New Fast | DNA | Dna On Dna |
| All Lined Up | Swans | Soundtracks For The Blind |
| Halo | Swallow | Blow |
| The Act | Clock DVA | Buried Dreams |
| Discotron | Stasis | Headz 2a |
| Alcoba Azul | Downs, Lila | Frida |
| William, It Was Really Nothi | The Smiths | Hatful Of Hollow |
| Heartbreak Hotel | John Cale | The Island Years (Disc 2) |
| Natchez Trace | Dusty Springfield | Dusty In Memphis |
| Up The Ladder To The Roof | The Supremes | The Best of (Disc 2) |
| Waiting For The Man | Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark | Navigation |
| Quick Joey Small | Kasenetz Katz Singing Orchestral Circus | Best Of The Bubblegum Years |
| Untitled : Arnulf On Drums I | Faust | Tapes |
| Drive Blind | Ride | OX4_ The Best Of Ride |
| Girl VII | Saint Etienne | Foxbase Alpha |
| Detachable Penis | King Missile | Happy Hour |
| I Don't Play Piano | Money Mark | Push The Button |
| Ooon Ong | Alva | Slattery For Ungdom |
| You Got Yours And I'll Get Mine | The Delfonics | La-La Means I Love You: The Definitive Collection |
| Only love can break your heart | Saint Etienne | Foxbase Alpha |
| Here Come the Fleas | White Noise | An Electric Storm |
| Bouncing Babies | The Teardrop Explodes | Piano |
| The Fat Angel | Donovan | Donovan In Concert |
| Brown Mama Blues | Bracey, Ishmon | Masters of the Delta Blues - Friends of Charlie Patton |
| Hard Time Killin' Floor Blues | Skip James | Complete Recorded Works (1931) |
| Strawdogs | Guided By Voices | Alien Lanes |
| Autumn Almanac | The Kinks | Something Else + 8 |
| Aumgn [Edit] | CAN | Cannibalism I |
| Ghost Ghat Trespass/Sussmeier | Sun City Girls | 330,003 Crossdressers From Beyond The Rig Veda (2) |
| Reach For Your Gun | The Monochrome Set | Chaps (A History 1979-1997) (Disc 1) |
| Sunday Morning Coming Down | Johnny Cash | The Essential Johnny Cash (1955-1983)_ Volume 3 |
| A Hard Day's Night | The Beatles | A Hard Day's Night |
| Evergreen Dazed | Felt | Absolute Classic Masterpieces |
| Show | Jarboe And Lary Seven | Beautiful People Ltd |
| Don't Tell It | James Brown | Make It Funky (Disc 1) |
| Battery In Your Leg | Blur | Think Tank |
| Brick Is Red | Pixies | Surfer Rosa & Come On Pilgrim |
| Charles Bukowski Is Dead | The Boo Radleys | Wake Up! |
| Satan Is Boring | Sonic Youth | Bad Moon Rising |
| Practice Makes Perfect | Wire | Chairs Missing |
| Dancing In Your Eyes | The Magnetic Fields | The Wayward Bus / Distant Plastic Trees |
| I'm Left, You're Right, She's Gone (My Baby's Gone) (Alternate #7) | Elvis Presley | The Sun Sessions CD |
| Through Being Cool | Devo | Greatest Hits |
| Jewel | Cranes | Forever |
| DJs Unit Vol 1 | DJ Seduction/Djs Unit "Dj Phantasy" | Euphoria: Old Skool Disc 2 |
| The Groomsman | The Dust Brothers | Headz 2 B (Disc 1) |
Posted by Todd at May 6, 2005 11:41 PM